Barista Brawl

The espresso machine is screaming. Someone's Crazy Ex is at the front of the line. The tip jar is decorative. Welcome to Barista Brawl.

This is the companion app for the Barista Brawl trading card game. Put the cards on the table, prop this up on the phone or iPad, and let it run the coffee shop while you and your crew fight through the rush. It handles the boring parts. You handle the customers, the chaos, and the crushing weight of your own life choices.

IT RUNS THE SHIFT • Keeps a line of customers waiting for every barista, round after round • Rolls each customer's demands and reads their abilities out on screen, from "Grit or discard a Barista" to "Sass or take stress" • Counts tips, tracks stress, and knows exactly how close each of you is to crashing out • Counts down to the boss, then runs all three stages of the fight • Announces storm-outs with a wall of red so nobody can pretend they did not see it

PICK YOUR SHIFT Chill Tuesday Afternoon, when you want to feel good about yourself. Kinda Busy Morning Shift, the way the game was meant to be played. Lunch Rush Apocalypse, when your crew has wronged you and needs to pay.

MEET THE BOSS Giga-Karen would like to speak to your manager. Lord Health Inspectious has a few concerns. Or roll the dice and let the app pick who ruins your day.

THE REGULARS Emo Teens. Bathroom Bomber. Total Dickhead. Starvin' Marvin. Someone's Crazy Ex. Every one of them wants something, and every one of them will storm out if they do not get it.

NO ACCOUNT. NO ADS. NO TRACKING. NO MERCY. Nothing to sign up for. Works offline. Collects nothing. Forgives nothing.

You need the Barista Brawl card game to play. Grab it at baristabrawl.fun and clock in.

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